This is it. I'm always saying I have a story to tell...........well here it goes..............Where to start. I guess I'll start with today. Today my mom woke up from a medical induced coma. She had a ventilator and feeding tube removed. I saw her eyes opened and focused for the first time in 11 days and it was great, yet sad at the same time. I also viewed fear in her eyes and that chilled me to the bone more so than seeing her lying there in the hospital bed unconscious. Seeing new life in her eyes made me realize I need to make some major changes in my life if I want to live a healthier, happier life.
I making some new year promises to myself starting with my attitude towards my body. I know this sounds like a cliche, but I want to lose weight in the new year. I've already lost about 100 pounds, but have gained back about 30 or 40. I want those pounds plus a few more this year. I know there is no miracle diet to make this happen, but rather life style changes to be made to make it happen. I had gastric by-pass surgery about 8 years ago, so I know first hand losing weight is not easy or comes in a bottle. I'm like a drug attic when it comes to food. I'm a food alcoholic, no doubt. The only way I could stop eating so much was to get my stomach stapled. Now, 8 years later, I can eat just about anything in large amounts again and thus I've gained back weight. I've even had a tummy tuck to get rid of the excess skin and am now I'm getting a chubby gut again. I've always prided myself for not being hooked on drugs or alcohol like other family members, but I guess I'm really no different than they are. I eat until I'm actually in pain and feel miserable. Afterwards, I always swear never to eat that much ever again, only to start thinking about food the very next morning. The worse part is that I think I've passed this lovely trait on to my daughters. If guilt had a monetary value, I'd be super rich. My new year will include making changes in my eating habits, physical exercise habits and attitude about food in general.
Also seeing my mom in the hospital and watching my dad deal with financial issues, I vow to get my finances under control in the new year. As like most Americans, I had a good Christmas via credit cards. I overspend every month. Of course eating out has a lot to do with my needless spending. I'm also a divorced mother with 2 daughters who still tried to give her kids everything they wanted not just needed. I need to set spending priorities and try my best to stick to them even if it means saying "no" to my girls. I've seen my parents struggles all their lives with money. They never seemed to catch a break. The worse part is that I think they have passed that trait on to me and my siblings. I'm an adult now and can't continue to blame my parents for my mistakes. I take full responsibility for them. My new year will include making changes in my spending habits and getting my credit card debt under control.
I have more things I need to work on with myself, but sometimes setting goals too high is a recipe for disaster. I guess this it for tonight. Tomorrow I will introduce myself more and give more background about myself. This is just the beginning. I hope you join me in my journey. Your input, support, and suggestions are welcomed. 2011, here I am.
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